Overwhelmed.

If I could describe this semester so far in one word it might be this: Overwhelming. 

I have been overwhelmed by my schoolwork; by feelings of inadequacy.

I have been overwhelmed by a stupid amount of car issues, both mechanical and just me locking myself out.. 

I have been overwhelmed by fears of "the future" getting closer and not knowing what the path looks like after college; more feelings of inadequacy that I cannot accomplish what The Lord is calling me to do.

I am overwhelmed by the people I see who are hurting; I so desperately want to do something, yet feel so powerless to help. 

I have been overwhelmed by tests and capstones that I don't seem to have time for and yet they are necessary. 

Strong emotions of sadness; feelings of darkness, worthlessness, frustration; physical symptoms of anxiety that can sometimes make it difficult to get out of bed in the morning; confusion, lack of understanding, lack of belief.. I have been overwhelmed. The list could go on and on.

But maybe through all of these things there is something that has been even more overwhelming. It is absolutely constant; I cannot get away from it no matter how hard I may try some days. It is the love of my God. It is overwhelming. 

I am overwhelmed that He can love me even when I am the most unlovable; He still pursues me.

I am overwhelmed that He does not get fed up of my anger when I cannot understand the hurt that is in this world; He reminds me again that He is bigger, even though I cannot begin to wrap my mind around it.

I am overwhelmed and amazed that He does not give up on me; He will complete the good work He has begun.

I am overwhelmed at the kindness, love, encouragement, and patience of sweet friends The Lord has placed in my life; they pray for me, hug me and sit with me, let me borrow their cars and give me rides, listen to me, and lead me back to the Father. 

I am overwhelmed by grace and mercy, forgiveness and love; they are boundless in the presence of the King. 

I am overwhelmed that the God of the universe loves ME. He chooses to look at me in my brokenness and say, "That is my child. She's mine." Most days I can't seem to fully believe it. But I want to. 

"From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I." ~ Psalm 61:2

I want to sit at Your feet; drink from the cup in Your hand. Lay back against You and breathe; feel Your heart beat.. This love is so deep; it's more than I can stand. I melt in Your peace; it's overwhelming.