300 Kids

One ministry that I am able to be a part of here in Kodiak this summer involves the free lunch program provided by one of the schools. The church I am partnering with began an outreach last summer by driving kids from a neighborhood across town over to the school to eat. Afterwards, we play at the playground for a while before taking them back home (or at least back to their neighborhood). This is such a tremendous blessing to be a part of, but it is also heart-wrenching at times. 

I told multiple people last week that if I could, I would adopt about 300 kids in a heartbeat. (we don't have 300 kids in the lunch program; that was just my number). These kids that I'm surrounded by need Hope so desperately. I just want to love them. I just want them to know how much JESUS loves them!! 

"Most of the time I'm just alone, so that's why I'm outside playing all the time." - said by an 8-year-old. Broke my heart. It's too normal -  too "okay" - for kids to be left to fend for themselves all day. It can be so discouraging to look around at all of the hurt that surrounds us every day. It can be overwhelming when we want to ease the pain that we know people are going through. We will never be able to "fix" or "help" every situation. But we can take heart in this! ~ We can provide a source of Hope in any and every situation and circumstance. "You see, we don't go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, 'Let there be light in the darkness,' has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:5-6

Please be praying that these kids that I get to love on every Monday - Thursday would truly know how much I care about them and love them, so that they will listen with open ears and open hearts when I am able to share the best news ever with them!! (JESUS!) Also, pray that The Lord would be working in the hearts of their parents/guardians. We have VBS coming up in three weeks, and family night is a fantastic time to touch the lives of parents as well! Lastly, pray that there will be a ministry (either within the church that we will hold the VBS or elsewhere), where we can plug these kids in year-round so that they can continue hearing the Good News!

"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.'" ~ Matthew 19:14

Deep Pain; Deeper Peace

My heart hurts. And yet it also has peace. It is so torn by what seems to be two completely opposite things, and yet maybe they kind of go together. Loss; death; grief; hurt; pain; suffering.. it surrounds us. My heart hurts for the ones I've lost that I love; I grieve, too, for the families they left behind who miss them so much more than I ever could. And yet the Bible says, “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.” At times, this has kind of seemed like a – for lack of a better word – harsh verse. How can you tell someone they are blessed when they are hurting so badly?? Suffering such great loss?

However, I think maybe I’m beginning to understand a little:

I hate pain because it hurts. But.. in the pain, I can find comfort, peace, and joy that I can find nowhere else. I cannot love pain. But I do love my Jesus. And I believe He can work profoundly in the midst of our deepest pain. Does a hug not mean a little bit more when it is received in the midst of pain? Does encouragement not seem greater when we’re struggling with discouragement? So I have found in my relationship with The Lord: my trust in Him finds new depth when going through trials; my prayers become more fervent in situations that I feel a greater need for direction and understanding; my love grows as I recognize more of who He is.. And when the pain runs deep [real deep], His comfort and peace go deeper still. There is no peace like that which we find in the middle of heartache; in places we know that we shouldn't be able to. Yet we can; we do. ~ It’s a peace that passes all understanding. And it guards our hearts and our minds. Forever. 

If you don't know this Jesus I'm talking about, or have never experienced the depth of peace that can only come from God, I would love to talk with you. I so desperately want you to know Him! I can listen, pray for, or share with you.. And would be more than happy to. I'm just a message/phone call away :)

Standing on Truth

Just the complete and honest truth for the moment, people.
I'm not sharing because I need you to comment to encourage me; I'm sharing because it's real. And by being real in this moment, I hope to encourage you to stand on the Truth and the Promises of God. If you believe the Word of God is true, you do not have to be tossed about by your feelings or by the lies we are thrown.

What I feel:

--> in the way

--> worthless

--> not good enough

--> unattractive (to put it politely)

--> bothersome

--> awkward

--> talks too much

--> lazy

--> stupid 

--> going to fail

What I know:

--> I am a Daughter of the Most High King

--> I am Loved

--> I am accepted by my Father

--> I am beautiful in His sight

--> I am here for a specific purpose

--> all my days have already been laid out before me

--> it's not about what I can do

--> it is about what The Lord is doing in and through me

--> my God is enough

--> my Savior can move mountains

--> this list goes on and on..

Can you guess who's bringing revival to Kodiak?! (GOD). Can you guess who gets to be a part of it? (myself and others!). Can you guess who's not happy about any of it? (the enemy of our souls).

"The thief [satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." ~ John 10:10

"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." ~ Ephesians 6:14-17

"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." ~ Zephaniah 3:17

You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.'" ~ 2 Chronicles 20:17

Do You Trust Me?

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not [do not depend] on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge [submit to] Him, and He will make your paths straight." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

Back towards the beginning of May, The Lord asked me a question: 

"Do you trust Me?" 

I had been praying about something that I felt would be an okay and positive thing, but I wasn't sure it was what I was supposed to do. Looking back, I don't remember ever getting a "yes" or "no" answer; it was always the question. Our conversations (prayers) usually went along these lines:

"Do you trust Me?"

"Yes, Lord, I trust You. But I don't really understand why I shouldn't.."

"Do you trust Me?"

"Yes, Lord. But what about..?"

"Do you trust Me?"

"Yes. Yes, I do."

There is not time nor need to share every detail of this story; I simply want to share with you that The Lord is faithful. He knew what was ahead of me, and He worked things out in His way and His timing. But I needed to trust. When I chose to trust that God had everything under control, He gave me peace that I wasn't expecting. 

After a week or two of constantly reaffirming my trust in whatever God was doing, regardless of whether or not I understood, another situation came up. This time we didn't have insurance to cover the van while my dad and I drove it from Texas to Alaska. Frustration built as we seemed to come upon dead end after dead end. (by the way, this was all happening on the day I had planned to drive the van home) As we sat waiting with what seemed to be no options left, I shared my earlier story with a friend. She replied, "Maybe He's asking you to trust Him in this situation too." She was right. And I did trust Him. But I was a bit frustrated at the moment. We needed insurance. And couldn't seem to get it. As I later drove across town, resigned to the fact that the only option we had left was a process that would take 2-3 days minimum, I received a phone call. The phone call was from Pastor Gary in Kodiak. His words: "Well.. I got us insurance." What?!? His next words: "Do you trust me?" Yes, Pastor Gary (AND GOD!), I trust you. Again, no need for all the details, but it was literally a miracle that we were able to get insurance coverage without going through that days-long process. Thank You, Lord!

It is a question that is there way more often than we probably recognize: "Do we trust Him?" 

Do we trust Him when we want to do things our way instead of His? Do we trust Him when things don't go the way we expected them to go? Do we trust Him when we lose those that we love so dearly? Do we trust Him enough to know we will be okay? Do we trust that He holds eternity in the palm of His hand? He is so trustworthy. The Lord is so faithful. We don't need to understand; He simply asks us to trust. Hold tight to Him. He's not letting go. What an amazing God, worthy of our worship and praise forever.