Fearfully & Wonderfully Made.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." -Psalm 139:14-16

Did you catch that? It says ALL my days were layed out before Him before I even came to be. ALL. That includes my past, my present, and my future. The past few years have included some pretty big decisions in my life.. choosing a college to attend, to play basketball at the college level, mission trips, and of course many daily decisions that just come along with everyday life. Right now I'm working on figuring out "what I want to do with the rest of my life." And frankly, while there are many things I want to do with the rest of my life, finding and following the path God has for me has felt overwhelming at times. However, this verse has been such a comfort to me through times like this.
I look back at the ways God has been so intricately involved in the details of my life thus far - big and small - and can't help but feel confident that His hand is over all and in all. And that whatever His plans are will be revealed in His perfect time. And one day we will look back and see how beautifully our path was woven together. Just the way it was supposed to be.

One detail of my life that I have come to be amazed with recently, deals with something that the world may consider a "birth defect." For those of you that don't know, when I was born, my right thumb was basically immobile. It never fully formed. Long story short, my parents (after a consultation at the Shriner's hospital in Houston) decided it would be best if I had surgery to remove the thumb and move my pointer finger over in a position where it could function as my thumb. Although this would leave me with only four fingers on one hand, it would provide me with the opposing digits helpful in picking things up and such.

I had my first hand surgery at the young age of 20 months, and never looked back. That I can remember, I've never really felt sorry for myself. Of course, in Elementary there were kids who would make fun of me. But I always had awesome friends who would take my side and stand up for me (by the way, if you were one of those friends and you're reading this, and I've never said thanks-- Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Those years would have been so much harder if it hadn't been for y'all).

See, I was ready to go! And stinkin' cute on top of that ;)

Four fingers was my "normal," and I never thought anything of it. In fact, I used to love playing with the old splints stashed away in a box in my closet.

My Grandma tailored gloves in the winter so they would fit my hand, and to this day it's still kinda funny to give it to someone to put on and watch them struggle until they figure out why they can't get it on :)

I made mud-pies and played on the playground just like every other little kid!

If I were to tell you that I've never been self-conscious about it, I would be lying. But never have I been angry or upset that God made my hand the way he did. However, only recently have I realized what a blessing it is for my hands to be exactly the way that they are!

You see, my left hand has a difficultly of its own- the small space between my pointer finger and thumb makes it impossible for me to make a complete circle, like so ~

Yes, I realize I look ridiculous.
I was trying really hard.. :)

This makes it difficult to do things such as climbing and swinging on monkey bars or lifting dumb bell or bar weights. It is difficult to get a grip with my left hand; the pressure can even be painful sometimes. However, because of the surgery, my right hand fits perfectly! If both of my hands were shaped exactly like my left hand, it is very likely I would be limited in some of the things I can do, but God's design is perfect. :)




I would venture to say the main "difficulty" (if you can even call it that) with my right hand is the larger-than-normal space that is left where my pointer finger used to be. While I had never thought about it, it was once brought to my attention that the space might make it more difficult to catch a basketball. Or any kind of ball for that matter. Upon my own recent investigation of this situation, I realized that when a ball is thrown at me from straight on, it is mostly dependent upon my left hand (with all five fingers evenly spaced) to stop the ball from hitting me in the face. The place where my pointer finger is missing on my right hand makes it more vulnerable to allow the ball to slip through. This is only one example, but if both of my hands were shaped exactly like my right hand, I believe it is very likely that I would struggle and be limited in some of the things I can do fairly well as it is, but - once again - God's design is perfect. :)


It is so great to have wonderful reminders like this of how great our God is, and yet He still remains so intricately involved in every detail of our lives. When the storms of life rage and clouds of doubt and worry threaten to overtake the joy we have, we can claim the promises that God has given us, His children! Although it is a difficult thing for me to grasp, I can believe with certainty that God knows "all the days ordained for me" and this frees me from having to! I may not be able to see what lies in my future, but I can see one thing~

My God is great, and His design is perfect. :)

Showing off my sticker and stamp :)

"It came as a sheer gift to me, a real surprise, God handling all the details... God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure that it had nothing to do with my natural abilities."
                                             ~ Ephesians 3:7-8

"And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus."
                                             ~Philippians 4:19